Solitude and silence elude me. I want to be alone, but I hate being alone. I like the quiet, but I need the noise. I am around people all the time because I hate to be alone.
During the early years of my ministry life, I worked all the time. I was at home only to sleep. For years, I fooled myself into believing that my commitment alone pushed me, but the truth is that some of it was fueled by my inability to be alone. I found no comfort in my own presence.
Over the years, I have discovered that being alone is not that bad. My ministry in TN left me alone in an office for many hours. My current ministry affords solitude when my other staff member leaves for the day. I still long for companionship and the company of others, but now I can spend time in a solitary manner without running for the first place to find another human.
What do we fear about being alone? What challenge is offered in no one else's presence? What are we afraid will happen? What might we do? What might we hear? What?
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