Saturday, November 7, 2009

Mutual Submission

I am performing a wedding today.  One of the topics I discuss with couples in their required premarital sessions is the joy of mutual submission. 

Submission is often seen as negative because our society has taught us that "having it your way" is the only way.  Submission is understood to be the task of the weaker individual in the relationship.  Submission is too passive; they say.

Well, I see submission as very active.  Submission as an act of choice exalts the other person.  It does not demean the submissive.  Submission that is not an act of choice is slavery.  Mutual submission insures that both parties needs and desires are accomodated.  Only with mutual submission can a dominant/submissive dynamic be negated. 

Our two male cats like to play like they are fighting.  Both will stand up on their back haunches and spar until one flops over on their back and plays the defensive cat.  One after the other, the two cats will take turns being the offensive and defensive cat.  Both are happy with their little game.  Both get to play both roles. 

If young couples could learn the joy of their partner getting their way, more marriages would make it past the uncomfortable fight for dominance that many couples get caught in.  Here's to mutual submission!

No comments:

Post a Comment